10 things you need to know about Love Letters

Hello there

I was recently surfing blogs and came across an entry bemoaning the loss of Love Letters. Not the fast and instanteous emails or the truncated texts or even the witty tweets ( I have been disciplining myself to write poetry in 140 characters – it is such a good discipline for writers!)

BUT real on paper, written with the pen in your hand and sent via snail mail, Love Letters.

Having lived in an age when Love Letters were only sent via snail mail I have to say I am rather partial to the Love Letter myself.

So why is that?

1) It’s the amount of effort is shows. He cares enough to write me a letter – this is really something especially if your lover is far away and very busy with their own life.

2) It is the  unexpectedness of it’s arrival – so different from your bills and circulars or the scrawly spidery hand of your great aunt telling you all about people you don’t know from her past and complaining about the cost of coffee.

3) It is the aroma -yes a love letter has a special aroma, a vibration that communicates from the way he boldly writes your name and address to the size and colour of the envelope he uses.

4) It is the emotions it arouses in you. You open it, heart a-flutter, eagerly wanting to read it’s contents yet unwilling to spoil the envelope.

I have to say here that all love letters I have opened with a letter opener, neatly so as not to tear them, but from a family member or bill- I merely flip the envelope open with my thumb – tearing the envelope in my haste and disregard.

5) The way your eyes devour the words, as though you have been starved in some prison somewhere and every word is your nourishment. The first time you read it so quickly you have barely time to digest it and it requires 2 -3 readings before you can say you understand what has been written.

6) Having been nourished and starvation abated it is now time to savour – this is when you read it again, you notice the penmenship, the date, how the words fit on the page, and think about what he might have been thinking when he wrote it to you, was he in a hurry or did he take his time finding exactly the right words to say to you? Was he poetic? Sensual? Sexually explicit? Was he romantic? This is the time when you blush and grin in delight , hugging the letter to you.

7) Now it is time for you to reply. This could be the same day or many days later, depending on how long it has taken you to get to this step and how in love with your lover you are. This is when you re-read the letter and answer in reply to his questions or innuendos, his passion and his caring. If you feel you are in the flow the letter gets written in your best handwriting and with a quick re-read is ready to be sealed with a kiss and sent to the post box.

If it is more difficult or you have troubles clearly expressing yourself it may take longer – and you could find so many scribbled out bits and add -ins that you decide to re-write it so that he will be able to read it when it arrives.

You stop and imagine him reading your letter, a smile playing his lips as he  registers what you are saying and wish he were here that you could speak with him directly.

And now you wait for his next new Love Letter and in this time you re-read his last one until you know it by heart. Until you can hear him speaking the lines he has written. Until the creases of the letter are fragile with the folding over and over and the words have begun to fade with the reading as though you are reading the ink off the page and that at some time (sooner than you would like) the letter will have disintegrated and blown away with the dust. So you read it again, more avariciously in the hope the words will become etched in your heart.

9) And you wait and still no letter. You wonder if you have offended by what you have written? Has he cooled in his passion for you? Is it already over before it has really begun? Doubt settles like a misty grey overcoat and now you look at the box of letters and watch warily, willing yourself to have more will power to resist torturing yourself with them if they may not be true.

10) And today glorious day – his letter has arrived and you are all smiles, over the moon with happiness and delight. You love is well, he is well and you are happy at last.

 

So why do we do all of that to ourselves you may ask?

Because the drama and experience of living  and loving so close to the edge with our emotions is what receiving Love Letters is all about!

For some this rollercoaster of emotions is too much to bear in which case I would suggest  – leave it alone –  BUT  if there is any small part of you that feels the need for a love that is lived on the edge, that is developed over time and that gives you a chance to express things you would not say face to face, then I would say

Go for it!

It’s the kind of experience of love that you will never forget.

One you can carry with you into your old age to reminisce over when you are as old as your great aunt!

Why if you are really sentimental, you will have kept all those letters still and be ready to read them again and smile and remember as though it were only yesterday when the Love Letter arrived.

 

Until next time

May you receive and write many love letters…

 

Melody

Soulmates – Is there really only one?

Hello there,

I was taking a spin on a friend’s blog and felt compelled to share my thoughts on SOULMATES.

Here is my take on this thorny subject!

I am about to put the cat amongst the pigeons with no arsenal!

We have misunderstood the truth of a soul mate.

1) They can be any form of relationship, not just romantic.

 2) The role of a soulmate is to be a catalyst for your growth – that means they can sometimes be wonderfully uncomfortable relationships to be in. Wonderful when you’re in tune and harmony, diabolical when you are not!

3) We are all fragmented aspects of the ONE – (you may put your own religious spin on this as to whether you think this should be God, the Universal consciousness or some other form of heirachy)

As fragmented aspects of the one, we are always about learning to LOVE,

to recognise we are LOVE and that others in the world are also LOVE.

4) If we come from this persepective it is clear that we could have any number of real, deep relationships with people we think might be the ONE – our soul mate.

5) Since where is it written that we are only allowed one real love and all loves thereafter are less than?

If we have learned from love we are growing in our capacity to love and this growth brings deeper, more profound opportunities to love with an open and true heart.

On a personal note I would like to think that I have loved every man I have loved over my lifetime with the ultimate honesty, respect, caring and love that I was capable of understanding at the time. This is the best I had to offer at the time.

Certainly what I offer now is better than what I offered in my teens, but then that is what I hope maturity is about – that we learn, grow and develop a stronger urgency to love in openness and vulnerability.

Which brings me back to loving a soul mate – an opportunity to love more deeply, with more openenss and vulnerability – a love not for the weak at heart but those with sincere and deep courage.

Wishing you all the willingness to love just like this

Sweet hearts to you all

 

 Melody

 

P.S. – If you are interested in Tony’s blog check out – www.lovethorns.com

 

The Wisdom of Atlas!

Hello Sweet Beings

Have you noticed how heavy, slow and stuck the world has become over the last 3-6 months?

Do you feel like you are holding the world of doom, gloomy and worry on your shoulders?

 

It seems that no matter where we look there is bad news – be it of the economy, loss of jobs, companies and people going in liquidation and the global situation be it economic or environmental.

I can see people around me feeling like they are swimming in a pool of murky treacle and the fear that they will never get out!

So maybe the answer is not to worry, not to let the news make you dreary with its negativity and cut us off from being  about who we really are which is LOVE.

Atlas who held the world upon his shoulders, soon got bent for his trouble. I wonder -

Did he love what he was doing? Did he love holding the world up on his shoulders?

If the task was filled with love and made him feel great then maybe we are wrong to be sorry for him?

We know enough about emotions to know that good ones create more good ones and bad ones create even worse.

For most of us we cannot change the current situation, we can only weather it, come through it and look after our families, friends and communities – and if we do this the nations will look after themselves and the world will be a better place.

I can’t help thinking that not matter how grim things are we can laugh.

That when things are tough the entertainment industry does a very healthy business in film, live shows and concerts.

That when we are feeling down, we yearn for things that will relieve the constant drugery of it all.

Maybe, this sense of coming to a stop financially  is about having the time to see what is really important to us?

Maybe who we really are, how we really relate and what really makes our heart sing is not success, but love.

And if that’s the case then many of us are already blessed.

And for those of us who are not?

Time to dust off our heart muscle, open our eyes and

get our blood singing to the tune of love.

Now that sounds like a great task to be putting energy into don’t you think??

 

Till next time, may you find love Sweet Beings,

 

Melody

April Fool’s Day!

Hello Sweet Ones!

I realised the other day I was being played for a fool.

Albeit a bit early for April Fool’s Day. I was being played through my emotions by a master trickster in half truths, omissions and possible lies.

Once I had got over the shock of being treated like this when I so clearly was being honest, open and loving I started thinking about why this had happened to me.

Where was my vulnerability and was closing down being ‘me’ the only way to protect myself?

All human beings are vulnerable at some point of their emotional psyche.

Maybe we need to be admired, or loved. Maybe we need comfort, caring and recognition. Maybe we need food, shelter and medical attention.

In our complex and busy world to need something is to be considered susceptible to weakness and should therefore be avoided at all costs.

But what if our neediness points to a place of growth and power – surely then we could be richer by far than we appear? Are we really being taken for a fool? And if so -

What do you do to move forward after you have experienced being ‘taken for a fool’?

Of course the first stage and state is shock.

Shock that is has happened, shock that you have misunderstood the motives and actions of others, shock that this is happening to you when you have done nothing to deserve this in your life! 

What to do at stage 1?

If possible start a course of Bach Rescue Remedy or an Emergency Essence – this will help you get all of yourself – emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually together. If you can do this as quickly as possible afte the shock, your recovery time will be much less.

The second stage is denial and doubt. ‘ No it could not be true, there must be some mistake, the person could not have treated me like this. And then the questioning, if they did, have they been doing this all along.’ This is when the body starts to feel like a great stone has been placed in the pit of your stomach and you can’t move. You mind is racing to cope with the situation and the body is just locked in place.

What to do at Stage 2?

Be still. Ask you mind to stop the questioning for a moment. If you can stop this part of  stage 2 you will also stop Stage 3 from starting which can be so destructive to moving forward.

Stage 3 is the most self destructive part of the process – this is where the self hate tapes start – the recriminations, the inner critic tapes, the unwillingness to see the issue as being anything other than your fault. Stage 3 stops all movement forward and all learning possible and keeps you in the loop of victimhood, resentment and bitterness.

How to deal with stage 3?

Accept your part in the situation without qualification or justification. Simply say: I accept I played a role in this. I accept all my feelings  and emotions, I deny nothing.’ This is the step that allows action to be taken that will move you forward, not keep you in the ‘old game’

The mind is a wonderfully complex pattern maker, that loves to dissect and reconnect things from every conceivable angle – so you may need to do Stage 1-3 many times over until you feel quiet enough to set out on stage 4.

What to do at Stage 4?

You are ready for stage 4 when you feel like you have a breathing space. The initial shock, denial, doubt and recriminations are over and at some part of you there is a need to act. So what kind of action do we need to take?

Well firstly it must be to deal with whatever is in front of us in the moment. This might be to go to work, look after a child, go to a class. Whatever it is  – do it. Continue to keep yourself going in positive and supportive ways.

If the person who has disappointed you is not there to confront or get further feedback from, it is not worth spending any more of your precious time thinking about them or what they are feeling or doing.

Caring for yourself takes #1 priority.

And caring for yourself means getting the things that are important in your life working again as quickly as possible.

A few days of this behaviour and you will be ready to deal with your disappointment in a constructive manner that will enable you to move forward without looking back.

Some time later you will hit Stage 5.

This is where you will be grateful for the learning and see how important it was for you to have had the experience.

In this space you are in your power, you are strong  and have true  courage  – a heart that has been tempered by experience and can still remain open to what life has to offer.

You are no longer the fool, but the wise woman or man on the journey of your life and it is those that played you as the fool who are the real fools.

Life is like that – it is not as it appears.

The trick is to know we are being played by the trickster to learn something really important and that the sooner we do the less of those terrible disapppointments fill our lives.

 

Till next time

 

Bless-sings

Melody