April Fool’s Day!

Hello Sweet Ones!

I realised the other day I was being played for a fool.

Albeit a bit early for April Fool’s Day. I was being played through my emotions by a master trickster in half truths, omissions and possible lies.

Once I had got over the shock of being treated like this when I so clearly was being honest, open and loving I started thinking about why this had happened to me.

Where was my vulnerability and was closing down being ‘me’ the only way to protect myself?

All human beings are vulnerable at some point of their emotional psyche.

Maybe we need to be admired, or loved. Maybe we need comfort, caring and recognition. Maybe we need food, shelter and medical attention.

In our complex and busy world to need something is to be considered susceptible to weakness and should therefore be avoided at all costs.

But what if our neediness points to a place of growth and power – surely then we could be richer by far than we appear? Are we really being taken for a fool? And if so -

What do you do to move forward after you have experienced being ‘taken for a fool’?

Of course the first stage and state is shock.

Shock that is has happened, shock that you have misunderstood the motives and actions of others, shock that this is happening to you when you have done nothing to deserve this in your life! 

What to do at stage 1?

If possible start a course of Bach Rescue Remedy or an Emergency Essence – this will help you get all of yourself – emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually together. If you can do this as quickly as possible afte the shock, your recovery time will be much less.

The second stage is denial and doubt. ‘ No it could not be true, there must be some mistake, the person could not have treated me like this. And then the questioning, if they did, have they been doing this all along.’ This is when the body starts to feel like a great stone has been placed in the pit of your stomach and you can’t move. You mind is racing to cope with the situation and the body is just locked in place.

What to do at Stage 2?

Be still. Ask you mind to stop the questioning for a moment. If you can stop this part of  stage 2 you will also stop Stage 3 from starting which can be so destructive to moving forward.

Stage 3 is the most self destructive part of the process – this is where the self hate tapes start – the recriminations, the inner critic tapes, the unwillingness to see the issue as being anything other than your fault. Stage 3 stops all movement forward and all learning possible and keeps you in the loop of victimhood, resentment and bitterness.

How to deal with stage 3?

Accept your part in the situation without qualification or justification. Simply say: I accept I played a role in this. I accept all my feelings  and emotions, I deny nothing.’ This is the step that allows action to be taken that will move you forward, not keep you in the ‘old game’

The mind is a wonderfully complex pattern maker, that loves to dissect and reconnect things from every conceivable angle – so you may need to do Stage 1-3 many times over until you feel quiet enough to set out on stage 4.

What to do at Stage 4?

You are ready for stage 4 when you feel like you have a breathing space. The initial shock, denial, doubt and recriminations are over and at some part of you there is a need to act. So what kind of action do we need to take?

Well firstly it must be to deal with whatever is in front of us in the moment. This might be to go to work, look after a child, go to a class. Whatever it is  – do it. Continue to keep yourself going in positive and supportive ways.

If the person who has disappointed you is not there to confront or get further feedback from, it is not worth spending any more of your precious time thinking about them or what they are feeling or doing.

Caring for yourself takes #1 priority.

And caring for yourself means getting the things that are important in your life working again as quickly as possible.

A few days of this behaviour and you will be ready to deal with your disappointment in a constructive manner that will enable you to move forward without looking back.

Some time later you will hit Stage 5.

This is where you will be grateful for the learning and see how important it was for you to have had the experience.

In this space you are in your power, you are strong  and have true  courage  – a heart that has been tempered by experience and can still remain open to what life has to offer.

You are no longer the fool, but the wise woman or man on the journey of your life and it is those that played you as the fool who are the real fools.

Life is like that – it is not as it appears.

The trick is to know we are being played by the trickster to learn something really important and that the sooner we do the less of those terrible disapppointments fill our lives.

 

Till next time

 

Bless-sings

Melody